How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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