My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
