There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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