Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
