but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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