I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
