You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
