My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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