It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no, he came in my armpit
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
and she was petting her beer can
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
