You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
