i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
