I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
this will be a night to untag.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
