look no pants
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
