we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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