Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Houston, we have a squirter
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
