There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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