Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
