He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
