Christians are straight up FREAKS
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
