happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've blown a few things in my day
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
