last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
