Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
