Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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