So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
