if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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