Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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