i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
