i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
