It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize