Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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