12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
