I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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