you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
