I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just had sex on a roof
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
