It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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