My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
