Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
