When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
