Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
