so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just googled if crying burns calories
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
