I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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