every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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