You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
