i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
