Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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