I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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