Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
