Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
