All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
