and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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