If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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